6 WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU ARE TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

1. KNOWING WHO YOU WANT TO BE

A successful and happy life requires a plan. You need to know the person that you wish to be and what is important to you. Clear purpose and values will guide your decision-making and empower you to prioritise and focus on the important matters.

2. NOWING WHAT YOU WANT

When you know what you want from life, you can take responsibility for each decision and action that you take. These decisions can be based on their ability to help you move closer to the life you want. You set effective goals and you pursue them.

3. NOT BLAMING OTHERS

Blaming others is the easy way out and it is a trap that we all fall into. But, when you blame others what you are really doing is stating that you are incapable of rectifying the situation. When something goes wrong, blaming others strips you of your power but when you take responsibility; your primary focus is to identify what went wrong so that you can rectify it. Even if somebody else screwed up; try remembering the following:

It’s unlikely that they deliberately screwed up

You are probably the person who asked them to perform the task

You could have checked beforehand whether they could do what was asked of them

Most importantly, throwing around blame will not solve the problem

To rectify a problem, you need to take responsibility, identify what went wrong, determine what you can do differently next time and, put your plan into action. If you need to tell somebody else that their performance needs to improve, use a constructive feedback approach. Choose to empower rather than attack.

4. NOT BLAMING YOURSELF

Just because you are not going to blame others; it does not mean that you should blame yourself. Let me be clear, whether you blame others or you blame yourself, blame weakens those involved and blocks your rational thought and creativity. You do not need to punish someone; you need to solve a problem. Take responsibility for the situation, identify the changes you need to make and make them.

5. BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF

In order to take responsibility for your life, you must first give up all of the excuses. You know those old stories that you pass off as facts of life so that you do not even try to make the necessary changes, e.g.:

I’m too old

I’m too young

I’m too busy

I can’t afford it

Those things don’t happen for people like me

There are many more examples which I could give but I am sure that you get the point. Cut the excuses; cut the B.S.; take responsibility for your life and make the changes which you would really like to make.

 6. KNOWING YOU HAVE CHOICE

Of all the silly stories that we tell ourselves, perhaps the silliest of them all is that ‘I had no choice’. When we do something that we regret or that we know that we really should not have done, we pull out this beauty of an excuse. We think that it absolves us of all responsibility for the outcomes of our decisions.

Regardless of the situation, there is always a choice. It may be an unpleasant choice, and it may feel as though there is no realistic alternative but you do have to make a choice. The most effective people take responsibility for their choices and are willing to stand by them.

        ONANEYE SULAIMON