12 Things Your Coach Won’t Tell You

12 Things Your Coach Won’t Tell You

If you’ve hired a coach, you know communication is at the heart of the professional relationship. There are many things that coaches will tell you, like how much they believe in you, or maybe when you are lying to yourself. However, there are some things you may never hear from your coach. Here are twelve:

1. They actually chose to work with you. 

Some coaches may take on every client who requests help, but the good ones are picky. They know their ideal client, and only say yes to people who fit the bill. Being selective allows them to provide the very best experience. Consider it a privilege if a coach selects you because they have likely turned down many others. You may have thought you hired a coach truth is, they chose to work with you because they see your true potential (maybe better than you see it yourself).

2. They spend more time on you than you realize.

A coach’s billable time doesn’t start and stop with your session. To make your time together productive, she likely spends an hour or more preparing by reading your file, reviewing your homework exercises, and brainstorming specific strategies to help you. There’s also time spent writing notes after a session and following up with you between sessions.

3. They are open to change. 

Although coaches usually have a plan for your time together and a structure they prefer to follow, most are open to your ideas. If you have a new problem you’d like to address, they can adjust their plans and work with you to fix it. 

4. They really care about you.

One-on-one coaching creates an emotional connection. Your coach takes a lot of pleasure in seeing your excitement and celebrating your successes with you, but their empathy also extends to the bad times and they feel your pain and disappointment right alongside you.

5. They learn from you, too. 

Yes, you’re paying them to help and teach you. But the learning process is mutual, and coaches learn plenty from their clients. The best coaches are open to the symbiotic nature of the relationship and relish the opportunity to discover new ideas or consider different methods by listening to and learning from you. 

6. They adjust their coaching style for you. 

Coaches are flexible and able to adjust their style to fit each client’s individual needs and personality. If you’re a visual learner, they can make changes to help you. If you need additional support during a difficult transition, they’re willing to add extra hours. They may not always know these things, however, so make sure you tell your coaches exactly what you need from them.

7. They know the answer, but want you to discover it first.

Coaches don’t want to feed you information and solve your problems for you. Their goal is to help you develop the skills necessary to find your own answers and fix your own issues. They know that’s the key to your ongoing success after your time with them has ended.

8. There’s a method to their madness. 

At first, you may wonder why you’re paying so much money for what just feels like a good conversation. The truth is, your coach has a formal system even if you don’t immediately recognize it. They are asking the right questions, listening for key points, and constantly coming up with ideas to help you improve.

9. They don’t like doling out punishment. 

At some point, you’ll likely wonder if your coach enjoys making you suffer. She doesn’t. Coaches don’t like shining a light on your faults and calling you out on the lies you tell yourself, especially when doing so causes you pain. They also don’t really love doling out difficult homework assignments. But those are all necessary parts of the coaching process. Coaches are there to give you what you need, not just what you want.

10. They see and hear everything. 

You can’t sneak anything by (or hide anything from) your coach. They’re trained to observe cues and use active listening to get a complete picture of your situation. They can’t read your mind, but their ability to understand you may seem close to telepathy. 

11. They spend a ton of time learning. 

Coaches do more than teach; they also devote many hours to learning. The best coaches are always investing time and money into upping their games by reading, taking courses, and attending seminars and conferences to sharpen their skills.

12. They get tired. 

Top coaches typically have 15 to 20 active one-on-one sessions each week. After factoring in prep and follow-up time, plus their own continuing education, they are working a lot of hours and exhausting a lot of mental energy. If you feel drained during your coaching session, imagine how she feels after doing it 20 times a week.

Although you may only spend one or two hours a week with your coach, they spend dozens of hours preparing for your sessions and thinking about strategies. You want to be aware of these points and consider them the next time you are tempted to call them after midnight or send them a dozen emails in a row.